When it rains, it pees...and worse

The following account is not for the squeamish. In the past four hours:

• Ian informed me that Sam had a poo-poo problem in their room. I kept my cool, placed the boy in the tub and cleaned up the mess and started on the carpet.
• I settled in to rock Millie into a napping state when I wondered why I still smelled poop. Luckily, it was all contained in a diaper this time. So, I changed Millie--which kept her from taking that early nap because I then had to extract Sam from the bathtub.
  
• Later, when the carpet was completely handled and the kids all seemed relatively happy, I slipped upstairs for 15 minutes to send an email to my mom.
  
• I came downstairs because Ian was calling for help in the bathroom with poop issues of his own. I got him started on the solution and then went to check on the shorter ones.
• To my horror, I found Millie on a kitchen chair hacking up all the remaining cornbread from last night with the spreader covered in all the honey butter she could have on there. I shrieked as I worried about honey and little ones. Then, on further inspection, I realized that she had also spread it on all of the produce from our garden: honey buttered tomatoes, anyone? Maybe cucumbers?
  
• So, I deposited my heavily glazed daughter in a very shallow tub and ran to check on the firstborn in the other bathroom and to hand him fresh underwear quickly before heading back to the queen honey bee to be an attentive, tub-side mommy.
• I glanced over at Sam on my way and saw that he was standing in a puddle of pee still dutifully playing his computer game to the side of the desk chair. In a stern mom voice, I advised him not to move.
  
• Millie's bath was speedy and I zoomed downstairs with towels to sop up the lake on my laminate floors.
  
• Sam was delivered to the tub once again (I accidentally bonked his head into the handrail for the stairs on the way) and then Ian gave me an update which landed him in the tub with his brother.
• I scooped Millie up for a second stab at nap time and I thought: What is that funky smell? Is it just in my nose now?
• Nope! One more stinky diaper with which to deal. Motherhood often equals waste mgmt.
  

Millie fell asleep in my lap as I was typing this and the boys might have morphed into prunes in the tub, but at least I got to vent before anything else needs to be cleaned up--besides honey butter.



Aftermath report: I successfully transferred Millie to the crib--only to enter a bathroom with a floor half-covered in a mega puddle. Wow, these boys can't even take a bath without making a mess. Only four more hours until Tony comes home...